Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize