Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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