She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
