ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
