i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize