I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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