is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
