you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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