ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
