I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
