I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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