Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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