took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
