i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
