Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
