He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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