I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
