Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
