Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
