Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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