ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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