Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
