I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
