I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
