When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
