ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
