that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just gargled with NyQuil
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
