you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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