just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Everyone says I win the strip club
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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