I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize