the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have fence marks all over my body
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
