New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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