dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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