Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
