i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
