I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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