News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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