he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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