I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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