Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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