Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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