i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
