I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
