i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
