it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
