I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
