hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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