he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
