I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
