When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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