Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
