do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
