coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
