Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
