I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
