So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
