I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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