Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
