Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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